April 2010
1 post
I can c u thru teh internetz.
Me: wow
Mollie: what?
Me: i just read the most inappropriate joke
Mollie: oh i thought you knew that emily and i were dancing to biz markie
Mollie: hahaha
Me: hahahahaha
March 2010
1 post
And we're back.
Mollie: also, i ate soap earlier
Mollie: by accident
Me: hahahaha what?
Mollie: i saw something on the back of my hand and i thought it was a bit of a nilla wafer since i was eating nilla wafers
Mollie: so i licked it off
Mollie: and it was dial soap
Me: hahaha funny
Mollie: yeah i dont know why i thought dial soap looked like a nilla wafer
November 2009
1 post
"I need more sleep."
Target employee: How may I direct your call?
Mollie: Oh... um... oh... technology... um... camera?
Target employee: Electronics, dear.
February 2009
3 posts
“I wish I could stick it through the head hole”
– Mollie 02.09.2009
“Your birthday sounds like it’s about to be raped.”
– Mollie 02.09.2009
Meets and Greets
Mollie: so this guy that becky knows who is super shy walks into the noodle house
Mollie: and becky was like "hey! this is pavel and this is mollie"
Mollie: and he shook my hand
Mollie: and i couldn't think of how to say handshake
Mollie: and didn't know what else to say
Mollie: so i said "wow, you've got a firm one"
Mollie: and then pavel looked at me and i lost it
Mollie: and like had to stare at the wall until he left
Mollie: THATS SO AWKWARD
January 2009
9 posts
I was playing World of Warcraft tonight...
Mollie: Neato.
Mollie: Meet any like witch sluts or something?
Mollie: Or is that The Sims?
Mollie: I just tripped over Megan's medium sized ball.
Mollie: twice!
Mollie: ... exercise ball
Mollie: I don't know why I thought you would know that medium sized ball meant exercise ball.
It's not just me.
Dave: are you more excited for the first weekend at school to have fun or for the first week of reading your new books?
Mollie: Um, Both.
So the power in my apartment went out...
Me: I wish I had a gas stove, I want a grilled cheese.
Mollie: You can have a grilled cheese without a gas stove haha. Melt butter in a pan, put the sandwich of bread and cheese on top of the butter, put a lid on the pan. Flip over, applying more butter after about... a minute and a half. Voila. That's how I make a grilled cheese.
Me: ...
Mollie: What? OH.
A Clarification
Regarding the previous post, Mollie wanted me to explain that “the paper towel is in my eye because my eye was stingy from hot sauce.”
“Girlfriends are like Jews. You can make fun of them only after they make fun of...”
– Mollie 01.13.2009
“I wish I had a catheter and a machine that applied chapstick for me.”
– Mollie